When I was 14 years old, my older sister made the decision to join the church.
A
year later when I was 15 years old, my sister talked me into going to a
pre-girl’s camp activity a week before camp. Sister Amy Barton from the
Santa Cruz ward was the camp leader that year, and as soon as she saw
me she told me that they could get the things together to have me at
camp, and she talked me into going.. At camp I felt the spirit and knew
that I needed to join the church. Three weeks later I was baptized.
When
I was 16 years old, the Madsen’s had visitors staying with them who
went to BYU. I remember talking to them about how I love the church but I
would never go to BYU.
Then when I was 17, I not only decided to apply to BYU but it was my number one choice.
When
I was 18, I was accepted to and decided to attend BYU. I was talking to
Meredith Barton about plans for the years to come, and she told me hers
was to go on a mission. I replied by saying I love the church and I am
excited to attend BYU, but I would never go on a mission.
Then when I was 19 I was prompted to serve a mission and turned in my papers.
Today
I stand before you honored to give my mission farewell. I leave on
Tuesday to the Dominican Republic, and I could not be more excited.
I
wasn’t really sure what I wanted to speak on because I knew I could
pick my own topic if I wanted, but I felt like it was too much pressure,
so I asked Bishop Madsen for a topic. His first reaction was that if he
gave me a topic I probably wouldn’t speak on it because he knows that I
am stubborn and I tend to play by my own rules. But then he said how
about you speak on sacrifice. I know during my mission I will have to
make many sacrifices, so I thought I would start by sacrificing my
stubborn ways and speaking on the given topic. And I am proud to say
that I have stuck to my subject and written a talk on sacrifice.
I looked up the definition of sacrifice and it states:
an act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy
I
really liked this definition because of its use of the word worthy. It
is nice that even the dictionary definition lets us know that the
sacrifices we make can lead to worthiness. I know personally I dwell on
having to give something up rather than celebrate the fact that whatever
the sacrifice is will bring blessings into my life. Obviously a mission
is a lot of sacrifice: a year and a half of my life, not seeing my
family, no cellphone, no TV and the list just goes on and on. But in
preparing for my mission and this talk, I have learned that the number
of things I will have to give up can’t even compare to the number of
things I will gain.
President Gordon B. Hickley gave a talk called Of Missions, Temples and Stewardship where he states:
Of
course your time is precious, and you may feel you cannot afford two
years. But I promise you that the time you spend in the mission field,
if those years are spent in dedicated service, will yield a greater
return on investment than any other two years of your lives.
President
Hinckley then goes on to list the many strengths that missionaries gain
and weaknesses that they overcome on the mission. He ends it by saying
Two years will not be time lost. It will be skills gained.
I
think this can be applied to more than just missionary work. Any
sacrifice the Lord asks us will eventually end up blessing our lives.
Another point President Hinckley brings up is that
“You will bless the lives of those you teach, and their posterity after them.”
I
think sometimes we have to look beyond ourselves. Sometimes it can be
really hard not to be selfish in these situations, but sometimes we need
to make sacrifices to bless the lives of those around us. I know that
the missionaries who taught me the lessons missed their families just as
much as I will. They gave up those years of their lives, and I am so
grateful for that. I hope that through the sacrifices that I am making I
can bless the lives of others the same way those missionaries blessed
my life.
My
life was blessed recently by finding out about a defect that I have. I
went to a new eye doctor to get new glasses and contacts for my mission.
This eye doctor did new tests on me and found out that I have a
convergence in the alignment of my eyes. So basically I have a slight
cross-eye. My sophomore year of high school I started getting these
really bad headaches. I ended up missing a lot of school and because of
it my grades suffered. I had always been the brain of my family. I was
the smart one and my sister was the funny one. It was really hard for my
parents to watch my grades drop and not understand why. I think they
thought I was kind of just being a lazy teenager who would rather sleep
than do homework, but it turns on that because my brain has to work
harder than a person without a cross-eye that intense studying actually
makes me fall asleep.
I
feel really blessed to have found this out because I will obviously be
doing a lot of studying over the next year and a half, and I now have
glasses that help my eyes relax when I study and they lessen the
headaches and sleepiness. While I do feel very lucky and relieved to
have found this out, I have also been having a hard time not being
frustrated and upset. It was really hard for me to lose interest in
school, which I had always loved. I thought that I was just bored with
school, but now I realize there was more to it.
It
has been really hard for me to let go of the person I could have been
had I figured this out sooner. I could have been the straight A student
with amazing test scores. I could have been a lot less disappointing to
my parents. I could have been better, but I wasn’t.
As
I reflected on this situation I considered the fact that maybe, had I
not had this issue, I would not have ended up going to BYU. And if I
hadn’t gone to BYU, I more than likely wouldn’t be going on a mission.
I
realized that sometimes we have to sacrifice or give up the person we
want to be or thought we should be in order to become the person the
Lord needs us to be.
Elder Neal Maxwell stated in a talk called “Swallowed Up in The Will of the Father”
The
submission of one’s will is really the only uniquely personal thing we
have to place on God’s altar. The many other things we “give,” brothers
and sisters, are actually the things He has already given or loaned to
us. However, when you and I finally submit ourselves, by letting our
individual wills be swallowed up in God’s will, then we are really
giving something to Him! It is the only possession which is truly ours
to give!
Let
me tell you I know it can be really hard to really give our will to the
Lord. It can be so hard to give up that person who we think we should
be. I know for me personally that a lot of times I will think of if I
just had this I would be happy or if I was this way I would be happy but
Elder Maxwell reminds us in this talk that:
only by aligning our wills with God’s is full happiness to be found.
I
would like to urge you all to think about whether you’re really giving
your will to the Lord and striving to become the person he needs you to
be because that is the way to find true happiness. Obviously I didn’t
plan to go to BYU or serve a mission, but I can honestly say I am the
happiest I have ever been because I’ve given up my will in order to do
what the Lord needs me to.
Another statement made by Elder Maxwell in this talk is that
“we mistakenly think that, somehow, by letting our will be swallowed up in the will of God, we lose our individuality.”
This
really struck me because so many people ask me “Well are you going to
come back a whole new person?” In many ways, I will change, but there
are also many ways I will stay the same. I know that God gave me my
quirks, my strengths, and even my weaknesses for specific reasons. The
Lord gave us each different quirks, strengths, and weaknesses for
specific reasons. I know that the Lord loves us for each one of our
quirks, strengths, and weaknesses. So when people ask me if I am going
to change on the mission, my answer is yes and no. While I know I will
have to give up certain parts of me, I know that I won’t have to
sacrifice my Hannah-ness, or the things that make me, me. I know the
same is true for you all.
Another
question I get a lot is “why are you serving a mission?” And for a
while I couldn’t explain it because it’s hard to explain the feeling of
the Spirit. It is hard to tell my non-Mormon friends and family that I
prayed to my Heavenly Father and was prompted by the Spirit to turn in
my papers and serve a mission. If I did try to say that the usual
response was but “why does it have to be so extreme? Why do you have to
give up so much?”
And
in preparing this talk I found a talk that answered the question of why
I want to serve a mission. Elder Harold G. Hillam gave a talk called
Sacrifice In the Service and the service he spoke on was missionary
work.
It states:
Why
have these great missionaries and others like them been willing to
sacrifice the comforts of home, family, loved ones, and sweethearts to
answer the call to serve? It’s because they have a testimony of Jesus
Christ. And when they know Him there is no bed too short or too hard, no
climate too hot or too cold, no food too different or language so
strange that they are unwilling to serve Him. No sacrifice is too great
to serve the Master, who sacrificed His all to provide the way for His
brothers and sisters to return home to their Heavenly Father.
I
am serving a mission and sacrificing this portion of my life because I
have a testimony of Jesus Christ and the Sacrifice that He made for all
of us.
I
know with all of my heart that I am meant to be serving this mission
and that mission calls are inspired. I am honored and thrilled to have
the opportunity to serve the people of the Dominican Republic.
I
want you all to know that each and every one of you is loved. I don’t
think that people come into our lives by coincidence, and I am so
grateful to have been in this ward. I would like to thank my family,
friends, and those of you who have helped me through this journey. I
know that Heavenly Father has blessed me by bringing each of you into my
life. It was not by chance. It was because He knew that I needed your
strength and support. I appreciate the love you guys have given me and
the sacrifices that you guys have made that have blessed my life.
I
know that this church is true. I know that our Heavenly Father loves us
all for who we really are. I know that the Book of Mormon is true. I
know that it was restored through the Prophet Joseph Smith. I know that
Thomas S. Monson is a true prophet of God. And I know that as we
continue to make the sacrifices that the Lord asks of us we will be
blessed.
This I leave with you in the name of our Savior Jesus Christ, Amen.
